Philosophy of Ambiguity

I got this in an email from Tim and thought I would pass it on!

Philosophy of Ambiguity
-Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor . . .

-Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

-If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

-What if there were no hypothetical questions?

-If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

-If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

-Is there another word for synonym?

-What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

-If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

-Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

-If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

-Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

-If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

-What was the best thing before sliced bread?

-One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

-Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

-How is it possible to have a civil war?

-If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

-If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

-Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

-Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them

?-Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?